One week ago today, I stood in the Wallace Wade football stadium surrounded
by almost 5,000 other Duke students.
After being called “intellectually sparkling” and “completely cool” by
the Dean of Trinity School of Arts and Sciences in a parting blow in the
competition between Trinity and the Pratt School of Engineering, President
Brodhead pronounced the ceremonial words that officially designated me a graduate
of Duke University. After a fleeting question as to why I hadn’t listed
philosophy as my first major instead of economics—I could have had a BA degree
rather than one that’s just BS—I realized that I was officially done with Duke. Ready or not, my undergraduate career
was over and it was time to embark on a new adventure at law school. Of course, first there’s the summer
after undergrad—a nostalgic time when we drudge up memories and piece them together
into “life lessons” we use to justify the fact that all that knowledge we paid
for night after night in the library is rapidly receding from our heads. This is the first of those nostalgic
moments.
A traditional picture of St. Michael defeating the Serpent. |
When I received the sacrament of Reconciliation my Junior year in High
School, most Catholics take on the name of a saint as a Confirmation name. Because “Shane” is notably absent from
the list of the canonized, I chose “Michael,” after St. Michael the Archangel. St. Michael is best known as the general
of the heavenly host—foretold in Revelation to defeat Satan and throw him into the fiery lake. That I chose a fighter comes
as no surprise—fighting comes so much more naturally to me than Benedictine
contemplation (as the students in my House Course who had to try to convince me
to join the Benedictine order rapidly discovered). I spent this past year fighting DSG in an attempt to allow
religious student groups the freedom to determine their own organizational
structure, excessive alcohol use in my Fraternity, and that “Catholic” and
“LGBT” are not contradictory on the Blue Devils United blog. Perhaps I should have taken St. Jude as
my confirmation name.
However, a lecture I received on my last full day as a Duke undergrad made
me reconsider what it means to have Michael as my namesake. The outgoing Dean of the Chapel, Samuel
Wells, gave this sermon at the Baccalaureate service for graduating Dukies. I highly recommend that every single
person stops reading this blog and go listen to it; you will get so much more
out of Dean Wells than anything I could possibly write.
His sermon made me take another look at my Confirmation name. See, “Michael” means something very
particular—“Who is like unto God?”
For all the fact that he is the leader of the army of God himself—actually
tasked with defeating evil—his name is not a holy warrior’s name. There is no “The
Great” attached to it that is the signatory title of conquerors (eg Alexander,
Saladin, Catherine). Instead, he
is, at his very essence, humility.
“Who is like unto God?”
I can hear your reaction now, “Christian humility? How innovative! How world-changing! $200,000 and a guy
in a fancy red robe and you tell us that Christians are supposed to be humble? We’ve never heard that one before.” Yes, we Christians bandy around the term
“humility” quite liberally, but in practice it often means demurring when
someone complements you. I’m
guilty of this; I’ll admit I am horrible at taking complements. However, Dean
Wells’ sermon presents another way to look at humility: rather than trying to
solve others’ problems, we should be present with them through their problems. In this Dean Wells introduced an
alternative Christian—or even human—vocation that is countercultural to the one
that we are taught to internalize at school. Directly after Dean Wells spoke, President Brodhead rose and
gave the Presidential Commissioning to the graduating class: essentially, “we gave you the tools,
now fix the world.”
Being with people may not seem like humility at first. But, consider what it means to “be present
with another.” Well first, you must first be. When we merely “be,” we are as God sees
us—stripped of our resumes, grades, or any other past accomplishments. God said, “I am who I am,” not, “I am what
I do.” But that’s really scary to
us, because to be who we are is to be broken—fallen. God sees me as I actually am, and sometimes that’s not a
Shane I like to be reminded of.
Next, you must be present. Not in that embarrassing moment when
you went up to hug that person on the quad you swore was someone else (should have
listened to Matthew 5:34). Not in that test you have in
three days. Not three dorms over
where your latest crush is. You simply
trust in God, and do as do the birds in the sky and the wild flowers in the field.
Finally, you must do all of this with
another. Now, if you’re
anything like me, being truly present with myself is hard enough. Remember the
lack of Benedictine contemplation?
To let someone see my entire self: shame and fears along with the joy,
to let them see how utterly dependent I am on God (while stubbornly trying not
to be), is truly a humbling experience. It makes hollow even the deepest lies we refuse to let go of
ourselves and as the truth sets us free, we participate in the Body of Christ. For even our deepest secret is not our
own—“So we, though many, are one body in Christ and individually parts of one another ( Romans 12:5 ).
But isn’t the above so antithetical to the standard Duke student? To the effortless perfection we’re supposed to exemplify? I
think back to my Duke experience, and so much of it was finding a problem (/position),
setting out to solve it (/applying for the position), and finally duly noting
it on my resume, of course glossing over the not-quite-so-successful parts. However, what were the truly powerful
moments? Were they the exhilarations of triumph, when I won a fight? When I got
the job? Or was it when I stopped
trying to “fix” my friends’ problem, descended to Earth, and spent time truly
with them—in communion with them?
Few of us will ever have a divine intervention where St. Michael appears
wreathed in heavenly light, and, with his flaming sword laws low our clearly
Hell-sent competitor (as nice as that might seem in my all-too-frequent
less-holy moments). In fact,
most of us will never experience St. Michael in his vocation as heavenly
general at all. But each of us
will meet St. Michael. Perhaps as
is fitting for a commander of armies, St. Michael is also the angel of death. He will be with us as we leave behind
all of the comforts we find in this world—friends, loved ones, Diet Coke—as we
go on to the next. In that moment,
he can’t protect us anymore, or fix our problems—our battle will be over and
our names either in the Book of Life, or not. But he will be with us as we go face to face with Christ: God’s
present to the end.
Take a moment and think about this, the general of God’s army—an archangel
whose responsibilities include carrying out the final destruction of evil—will take
time to be present with each one of us before we face judgment. I can’t even find time for family when
my greatest battle is a paper for the next day. I only hope that I will live up to my confirmation namesake,
and, even as I fight the battles that are no doubt in my future, remember that
it is love that saves, and it is only in å gift of self that that we humans
truly find ourselves.
A gift of self that can only be truly genuine when it is completed with
the cry, “who is like unto God?”
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